나에게 이 책은

 

이번 북 리뷰는 나에게는 일종의 실험이다. 북 리뷰 실험. 소화하기 어려울 것 같은 책들이 북 리뷰라는 소화제를 통해 소화되었다. 필사, 타이핑이 꼭꼭 씹어주는 역할을 하는 것이다. 그렇다면 영어로 된 작품도 북 리뷰로 읽을 수 있지 않을까? 원문으로 문학작품을 읽고 싶긴 했지만 엄두를 내지 못했다. 헤밍웨이 문체가 하드보일드 하다는데 어떤 문체일까, 궁금하기만 할 뿐 거기에서 멈췄다. 그저 믿을만한 번역가의 책을 골라 읽을 뿐이었다. 그러다 작년에 노벨 문학상을 탄 가즈오 이시구로에게 호기심이 일었고, 누군가 그의 영어는 어렵지 않다고 하여 THE REMAINS OF THE DAY를 구매했다. 그렇게 시작한 영문 북 리뷰. 240 페이지이지만 영문인 까닭에 2주 읽기를 하기로 한다.

 

가즈오 이시구로

 

일본계 영국인이다. 1954년 일본 나가사키에서 태어난 가즈오 이시구로는 1960년 영국으로 이주했다. 첫 소설은 일본을 배경으로 한 『창백한 언덕 풍경』이라고 한다. 이어 일본인 예술가의 삶을 다룬 『부유하는 세상의 예술가』가 있다. 『남아 있는 나날』은 영국의 한 저명한 저택에서 평생을 집사로 보낸 스티븐슨의 여행과 회상이 교차되는 소설이다. 그 외에도 가상의 도시를 배경으로 한 『위로 받지 못한 사람들』, 매력적인 상류층 사립 탐정 크리스토퍼의 말투로 전개되는 『우리가 고아였을 때』, 복제 인간의 사랑과 운명을 다룬 『나를 보내지 마』, 황혼을 다룬 단편을 모은 『녹턴』, 고대 잉글랜드 평원을 무대로 잃어버린 기억을 찾아나선 사람들의 이야기 『파묻힌 거인』 등 그의 소설은 시공간적 배경이 다양하거니와 소재 역시 다양하다.

 

그러나 ‘다양한 소재’를 쓰는 소설가에 멈추지 않고 가즈오 이시구로는 그 너머 주제를 다루는 소설가가 되기를 원했다. 작가 특유의 문체로 인간과 문명에 대한 비판을 녹여낸다는 평가를 받는 그는 스스로 ‘기억과 망각의 딜레마’를 주제로 삼는다고 밝힌 바 있다.

 

저의 작품들에 대해 흔히 이야기되는 ‘소재의 다양성’이라는 건 주로 ‘배경’이나 ‘장르’와 관련된 부분 같아요. 하지만 제 주제는 보다 깊은 차원에서 볼 때 기억 또는 기억과 망각의 딜레마에 관한 거예요.  - NPR과 GOODREADS에서 진행된 가즈오 이시구로 인터뷰 중

 

가즈오 이시구로가 노벨문학상을 받으면서 영국 국적임에도 불구하고 1913년 인도 시인 타고르, 1968년 일본 소설가 가와바타 야스나리, 1994년 일본 소설가 오에 겐자부로, 2000년 프랑스 국적의 가오싱젠, 2012년 중국 소설가 모옌에 이어 여섯 번째 동양인 노벨문학상 수상자라는 기록을 얻었다. <타임즈>에서 ‘1945년 이후 가장 위대한 영국 작가 50인’ 안에 꼽을 정도로 현대 영미문학에서 중요한 위치를 차지하지만, 동양과 서양 어느 쪽에도 속하지 않은 이시구로만의 정서가 그의 작품을 더욱 특별하게 만든다. - <채널 A>에서 발췌 요약함.

 

PROLOGUE. JULY 1956/ Darlington Hall

 

3 The idea of such a journey came about, I should point out, from a most kind suggestion put to me by Mr. Farraday himself one afternoon almost fortnight ago, when I had been dusting the portraits in the library.

고용주가 먼저 여행을 제안하는 것 좋다! 회사 다닐 때 annual meeting이라고 해서 해외로 모두 여행을 갔는데, 직원 모두가 떠나는 것도 좋기야 하다만 개인에게도 여행을 할 수 있는 시간과 비용을 지원해주면 좋겠는데 하는 생각을 한 적이 있다. 그래서 우리 한의원에서는 근무한 지 4년이 되면 동남아 여행을 지원하는 것을 계약서에 명시해 놨다. 지금까지 직원 한 분 다녀오셨고 올 해 또 한 분 지원해 드린다.

 

또 떠오르는 생각은 교수직의 안식년처럼 직장인에게도 안식년이 있어야 한다는 것이다. 현재로서는 육아휴직만 있을 뿐인데 그럼 싱글인 사람들에게는 기회가 없쟎아.

 

‘You realize, Stevens, I don’t expect you to be locked up here in this house all the time I’m away. Why don’t you take the car and drive off somewhere for a few days? You look like you could make good use of a break.’

주인이 보기에도 스티븐슨이 얼마나 갑갑해 보였으면 이런 제안을 했을까.

 

4 ‘It has been my privilege to see the best of England over the years, sir, within these very walls.’

여행을 제안한 패러데이는 미국인이다. 여행을 하면서 당신 나라 영국을 좀 둘러보라고 하는데 스티븐스는 저렇게 응하고 있다. 우물 안 개구리이자 벽창호가 따로 없다.

 

‘I mean it, Stevens. It’s wrong that a man can’t get to see around his own country. Take my advice, get out of the house for a few days.’

자신의 나라를 일상이 아닌 여행으로 보는 것. 그런 ‘소외’, ‘낯설게 하기’가 여행의 미덕일 터. 자아 탐구 역시 그런 점에서 여행이 될 수 있을 것이다. 나를 낯설게 보기. 패러데이의 조언으로부터 결국 스티븐스는 자신의 삶을 되돌아 볼 수 있게 된다.

 

5 It is, of course, the responsibility of every butler to devote his utmost care in the devising of a staff plan.

이 소설에서 집사(butler)가 상징하는 바는 크다. 다만 이제는 ‘버틀러 서비스’에서 볼 수 있듯 여행지에서 받을 수 있는 특별한 서비스 정도? 스티븐스가 말하는 버틀러의 ‘책임감’이라는 게 과연 얼마나 대단한 가치가 있는 거였는지. 맹목적인 책임감. 책임감 있는 사람들이 흔히 가지는 꽉 막힘.

 

7 Now naturally, like many of us, I have a reluctance to change too much of the old ways. But there is no virtue at all in clinging as some do to tradition merely for its own sake. In this age of electricity and modern heating systems, there is no need at all to employ the sorts of numbers necessary even a generation ago.

언제나 시대는 변화하고 사람은 나이가 들수록 ‘변화’가 버겁지만.  

 

8 I was especially conscious that any resistance there may be on the part of Mrs. Clements, or the two girls, to the taking on of duties beyond their traditional boundaries would be compounded by any notion that their workloads had greatly increased.

 

9 You may be amazed that such an obvious shortcoming to a staff plan should have continued to escape my notice, but then you will agree that such is often the way with matters one has given abiding thought to over a period of time;

 

12 There was always the possibility, of course, that his suggestion of a fortnight ago may have been a whim of the moment, and he would no longer be approving of the idea.

 

It was clear, then, that I had to choose my moment wisely.

 

13 In fact, when I bring in the afternoon tea, Mr. Farraday is inclined to close any book of periodical he has been reading, rise and stretch out his arms in front of the windows, as though in anticipation of conversation with me.

 

16 But I must say this business of bantering is not a duty I feel I can every discharge with enthusiasm. It is all very well, in these changing times, to adapt one’s work to take in duties not traditionally within one’s realm;

 

I therefore set about thinking of some witty reply; some statement which would still be safely inoffensive in the event of my having misjudged the situation.

 

‘More like swallows than crows, I would have said, sir. From the migratory aspect.’ And I followed this with a suitably modest smile to indicate without ambiguity that I had made a witticism, since I did not wish Mr. Farraday to restrain any spontaneous mirth he felt out of a misplaced respectfulness.

 

17 Only then did it occur to me that, of course, my witticism would not be easily appreciated by someone who was not aware that it was gypsies who had passed by. I could not see, then, how I might press on with this bantering; in fact, I decided it best to call a halt to the matter and, pretending to remember something I had urgently to attend to, excused myself, leaving my employer looking rather bemused.

 

But the same time, I cannot escape the feeling that Mr. Farraday is not satisfied with my responses to his various banterings.

 

Not so long ago, if any such points of ambiguity arose regarding one’s duties, one had the comfort of knowing that before long some fellow professional whose opinion one respected would be accompanying his employer to the house, and there would be ample opportunity to discuss the matter.

 

18 You would not have hear mere gossip; more likely, you would have witnessed debates over the great affairs preoccupying our employers upstairs, or else over matters of import reported in the newspapers;

 

Sometimes, naturally, there would be strong disagreements, but more often than not, the atmosphere was dominated by a feeling of mutual respect.

 

And there were others less distinguished, perhaps, but whose lively presence made any visit memorable;

 

19 As it was, however, no suitable opportunity arose for me to gain such information.

 

However, let me return to my original thread.

 

DAY ONE. EVENING/ Salisbury

 

23 It was an odd feeling and perhaps accounts for why I delayed my departure so long, wandering around the house many times over, checking one last time that all was in order.

선뜻 여행을 떠나지 못하는 사람들. 사실은 그들이 없어도 세상은 굴러가는데. 집과 회사를 포함한 세상 말이다. 나 없어도 세상은 잘 돌아간다.

 

This was due, no doubt, to the fact that though I motored further and further from the house, I continued to find myself in surroundings with which I had at least a passing acquaintance. Now I had always supposed I had travelled very little, restricted as I am by my responsibilities in the house, but of course, over time, one does make various excursions for one professional reason or another, and it would seem I have become much more acquainted with those neighboring districts than I had realized.

그 놈의 책임감. 이 소설을 읽다 보면 responsibility 와 dignity가 매우 자주 나온다. 주인공을 지배하는.

 

24 I have heard people describe the moment, when setting sail in a ship, when one finally loses sight of the land. I imagine the experience of unease mixed with exhilaration often described in connection with this moment is very similar to what I felt in the Ford as the surroundings grew strange around me.

 

This occurred just after I took a turning and found myself on a road curving around the edge of a hill.

길과 커브, 그리고 달라지는 풍경. 언덕을 올라가면서 떠오르는 푸른 바다. 커브를 좀 틀었을 뿐인데 확 달라지는 풍경을 마주했을 때의 놀라움. 제주도 한라산을 오를 때.

 

The feeling swept over me that I had truly left Darlington Hall behind, and I must confess I did feel a slight sense of alarm – a sense aggravated by the feeling that I was perhaps not on the correct road at all, but speeding off in totally the wrong direction into a wilderness. It was only the feeling of a moment, but it caused me to slow down. And even when I had assured myself I was on the right road, I felt compelled to stop the car a moment to take stock, as it were.

 

25 ‘You got to have a good pair of legs and a good pair of lungs to go up there. Me, I haven’t got neither, so I stay down here. But if I was in better shape, I’d be sitting up there. And you won’t get a better view anywhere in the whole of England.’

떠나라고 하는 주인, 올라가라고 하는 행인. 막혀만 있지 말고 좀 흐르라고 주인공을 떠미는 사람들이 이렇게 많거늘.

 

‘I can see you’re in good shape for your age, sir. I’d say you could make your way up there, no trouble. I mean, even I can manage on a good day.’

 

‘I’m telling you, sir, you’ll be sorry if you don’t take a walk up there. And you never know. A couple more years and it might be too late’ – he gave a rather vulgar laugh – ‘Better go on up while you still can’

아이들 크는 것도 금방이지만 어르신들 쇠약해지시는 것도 금방이다. 파키슨병으로 거동을 못하시는 시고모님이 계시다. 불과 몇 년 전 어머님과 고모님이 일본으로 여행을 가셨다. 이런 저런 이유로 꺼려하시는 고모님을 어머님이 설득해서 갔던 여행이었다. 결국은 두 분이 함께 한 마지막 여행이 되었다. 지금은 전혀 거동을 못하신다.

 

얼마 전 박그림 선생님의 강의를 들었다. 젊은 시절부터 다녔던 설악산 사진과 지금의 사진을 보여주며 설악산 케이블카가 설치되면 안되는 이유를 마치 詩처럼 들려주셨다. 지금의 설악산과 과거의 설악산은 완전 다르더라. 자연이라고 언제나 그 모습 그대로인 것만은 아니다. 우리 몸도 그렇고. 몇 년 후만 되어도 늦는다. 그러니 자연이 아직 기다려줄 때, 그리고 몸이 받쳐줄 때 부지런히 움직이자. 꼭 여행만을 이야기 하는 것이 아니다. 모든 것은 ‘때’가 있다.

 

26 For it was then that I felt the first healthy flush of anticipation for the many interesting experiences I know these days ahead hold in store for me. And indeed, it was then that I felt a new resolve not to be daunted in respect to the one professional task I have entrusted myself with on this trip; that is to say, regarding Miss Kenton and our present staffing problems.

 

30 How often have you known it for the butler who is on everyone’s lips one day as the greatest of his generation to be proved demonstrably within a few years to have been nothing of the sort?

 

Meanwhile, those same gossipers will have found yet some other newcomer about whom to enthuse.

 

31 Indeed, today, those evenings rank amongst my fondest memories from those times.

 

But let me return to the question that is of genuine interest, this question we so enjoyed debating when our evenings were not spoilt by chatter from those who lacked any fundamental understanding of the profession; that is to say, the question ‘what is a great butler?’

 

33 If one looks at, say, Mr. Marshall or Mr. Lane, it does seem to me that the factor which distinguishes them from those butlers who are merely extremely competent is most closely captured by this work ‘dignity’.

 

Mr. Graham would always take the view that this ‘dignity’ was something like a woman’s beauty and it was thus pointless to attempt to analyse it. I, on the other hand, held the opinion that to draw such a parallel tended to demean the ‘dignity’ of the likes of Mr. Marshall.

 

Moreover, my main objection to Mr. Graham’s analogy was the implication that this ‘dignity’ was something one possessed or did not by a fluke of nature; and if one did not self-evidently have it, to strive after it would be as futile as an ugly woman trying to make herself beautiful.

 

Now while I would accept that the majority of butlers may well discover ultimately that they do not have the capacity for it, I believe strongly that this ‘dignity’ is something one can meaningfully strive for throughout one’s career.

위대한 버틀러에 대한 정의, ‘품위’는 어떤 것인가에 대한 강박. 도대체 이 소설이 무엇을 이야기 하려는 건가 하며 읽어나갔다. 소설 중반 즈음에야 주인공의 심리를 통한 작가의 의도를 파악하고 그 치밀한 설계와 심리묘사에 놀랐다. 하긴 노벨상을 거저 주는 건 아니겠지.

 

맹목적인 노력과 분투가 갖고 있는 어리석음. 마냥 노력하며 열심히 사는 것이 미덕은 아니다. 하지만 괴테가 말했듯이 ‘인간은 노력하는 한 방황’하는 법. 그러한 ‘방황’ 속에서 ‘방향’을 잡아 나가는 것이 인생. 이 소설의 주인공도 그러할 터.

 

Those ‘great’ butlers like Mr. Marshall who have it, I am sure, acquired it over many years of self-training and the careful absorbing of experience. In my view, then, it was rather defeatist from a vocational standpoint to adopt a stance like Mr. Graham’s.

 

36 This story was an apparently true one concerning a certain butler who had travelled with his employer to India and served there for many years maintaining amongst the native staff the same high standards he had commanded in England.

 

This last phrase – ‘no discernible traces left of the recent occurrence by that time’ – my father would repeat with a laugh and shake his head admiringly. He neither claimed to know the butler’s name, nor anyone who had known him, but he would always insist the event occurred just as he told it.

 

39 According to Mr. Charles, my father did not display any obvious anger. He had, it seemed, merely opened the door. And yet there was something so powerfully rebuking and at the same time so unassailable about his figure looming over them that Mr. Charles’s two drunken companions seemed to cower back like small boys caught by the farmer in the act of stealing apples.

 

My father did not reply, but continued to stand there silently, neither demanding disembarkation nor offering any clue as to his desires or intentions. I can well imagine how he must have looked that day, framed by the doorway of the vehicle, his dark, severe presence quite blotting out the effect of the gentle Hertfordshire scenery behind him.

 

40 Now that I have recalled this episode, another event from around that time in my father’s career comes to mind which demonstrates perhaps even more impressively this special quality he came to possess.

 

But to make matters worse, the usual comfort a father has in these situations – that is, the notion that his son gave his life gloriously for king and country – was sullied by the fact that my brother had perished in a particularly infamous manoeuvre.

 

41 For one thing, any hopes my father may have had that to meet the General in person would arouse a sense of respect or sympathy to leaven his feelings against him proved without foundation.

 

42 Yet so well did my father hide his feelings, so professionally did he carry out his duties, that on his departure the General had actually complimented Mr. John Silvers on the excellence of his butler and had left an unusually large trip in appreciation – which my father without hesitation asked his employer to donate to a charity.

 

For such persons, being a butler is like playing some pantomime role; a small push, a slight stumble, and the façade will drop off to reveal the actor underneath. The great butlers are great by virtue of their ability to inhabit their professional role and inhabit it to the utmost; they will not be shaken out by external events, however surprising, alarming or vexing.

감정에 휘둘리지 않고 직무에 충실한 ‘위대한’ 버틀러. 그렇다면 그냥 인공지능 로봇과 뭐가 다를까.

 

43 They wear their professionalism as a decent gentleman will wear his suit:

 

It is sometimes said that butlers only truly exist in England. Other countries, whatever title is actually used, have only man servants. I tend to believe this is true.

일본계 영국인인 작가가 이 소설에서 지극히 영국적인 버틀러라는 직업을 소재로 삼은 것에 시선이 갔다. 버틀러와 젠틀맨. 프로와 아마추어. 그리고 2차 세계대전을 앞둔 영국.

 

Continentals are unable to be butlers because they are as breed incapable of the emotional restraint which only the English race are capable of.

섬나라 영국인만이 감정 컨트롤이 가능하므로 대륙놈들(?)은 진정한 버틀러가 될 수 없다는 자부심?

책임감, 노력, 감정 절제라는 3종 세트로 무장한 주인공이 이끈 삶은 과연?

 

We English have an important advantage over foreigners in this respect and it is for this reason that when you think of a great butler, he is bound, almost by definition, to be and Englishman.

 

44 It is with such men as it is with the English landscape seen at its best as I did this morning: when one encounters them, one simply knows one is in the presence of greatness.   

 

But I believe we have a duty not to be so defeatist in this matter. It is surely a professional responsibility for all of us to think deeply about these things so that each of us may better strive towards attaining ‘dignity’ for ourselves.

 

DAY TWO. MORNING/ Salisbury

 

48 It is of course tragic that her marriage is now ending in failure. At this very moment, no doubt, she is pondering with regret decisions made in the far-off past that have now left her, deep in middle age, so alone and desolate. And it is easy to see how in such a frame of mind, the thought of returning to Darlington Hall would be a great comfort to her.

 

Indeed, all in all, I cannot see why the option of her returning to Darlington Hall and seeing out her working years there should not offer a very genuine consolation to a life that has come to be so dominated by a sense of waste.

 

49 In fact, by terming it a ‘problem’, I perhaps overstate the matter. I am referring, after all, to a series of very minor errors on my part and the course I am now pursuing is merely a means of pre-empting any ‘problems’ before one arises.

 

She begins one sentence: ‘Although I have no idea how I shall usefully fill the remainder of my life…’ And again, elsewhere, she writes: ‘The rest of my life stretches out as an emptiness before me.’

제목과 연결되는 표현들. ‘남아 있는 나날’을 어떻게 보낼 것인가는 ‘지나간 나날’을 어떻게 보냈는지를 살펴본 후에야 제대로 된 가닥을 잡을 수 있을 것이다.

 

‘I was so fond of that view from the second-floor bed-rooms overlooking the with the downs visible in the distance. Is it still like that? On summer evenings there was a sort of magical quality to that view and I will confess to you now I used to waste many precious minutes standing at one of those windows just enchanted by it.’

 

50 It is something of a revelation that this memory from over thirty years ago should have remained with Miss Kenton as it has done with me.

 

There are some very pertinent reasons why this memory has remained with me, as I wish to explain. Moreover, now that I come to think of, it is perhaps not so surprising that it should also have made a deep impression on Miss Kenton given certain aspects of her relationship with my father during her early days at Darlington Hall.

 

51 Of course, one has to expect such things to occur amongst maids and footmen, and a good butler should always take this into account in his planning; but such marrying amongst more senior employees can have an extremely disruptive effect on work. Of course, if two members of staff happen to fall in love and decide to marry, it would be churlish to be apportioning blame; but what I find a major irritation are those persons – and housekeepers are particularly guilty here – who have no genuine commitment to their profession and who are essentially going from post to post looking for romance. This sort of person in a blight on good professionalism.

어머님이 해주신 이야기가 생각난다. 예전에 한약방을 할 때엔 일하는 사람들에게 숙식을 제공하며 살았는데, 그러다 함께 일하는 두 분이 결혼을 하게 되어 동시에 관뒀다고. 그간의 인연을 생각해서 어느 정도 시간을 주었으면 좋았을 터인데 갑작스레 둘이 함께 관두게 되어 당황 하셨단다. 영국의 대저택에서도 일하는 사람들끼리의 로맨스가 많았을 터.  

 

58 Resolved not to waste further time on account of this childish affair, I contemplated departure via the french windows.

 

59 ‘If it is so important to you, Miss Kenton, I will allow that the Chinaman behind me may well be incorrectly situated. But I must say I am at some loss as to why you should be so concerned with these most trivial of errors.’

 

61 Whatever may be said about his lordship these days – and the great majority of it is, as I say, utter nonsense – I can declare that he was a truly good man at heart, gentleman through and through, and one I am today proud to have given my best years of service to.

 

62 ‘I mean considerable repercussions. On the whole course Europe is taking. In view of the persons who will be present, I do not think I exaggerate.’

 

Your father’s days of dependability are now passing.

 

63 The question of how one could broach the topic of reducing his responsibilities was not, then, an easy one. My difficulty was further compounded by the fact that for some years my father and I had tended – for some reason I have never really fathomed – to converse less and less.

뒷방 노인과 active senior. 사람이 ‘기능’과 ‘유익’으로 가치 매겨진다면 노인은 그저 쓸모 없는 존재가 되는 걸까. 폐경을 완경이라 하듯, 책임감이 덜해지는 것을 쓸모 없어진다고 생각하기보다는 책임감으로부터의 해방, 자유라 생각해도 되지 않을까.

 

64 I had rarely had reason to enter my father’s room prior to this occasion and I was newly struck by the smallness and of it. Indeed, I recall my impression at the time was of having stepped into a prison cell, but then this might have had as much to do with the pale early light as with the size of the room or the bareness of its walls.

화려한 대저택과 달리 아버지의 방은 감옥처럼 작고 삭막했구나. 청소노동자의 휴게공간이나 아파트 단지 내 경비실의 열악함에 대한 기사가 종종 나온다. 공간에 존재하는 부익부 빈익빈.

 

For my father had opened his curtains and was sitting, shaved and in full uniform, on the edge of his bed from where evidently he had been watching the sky turn to dawn. At least one assumed he had been watching the sky turn to dawn.

 

At least one assumed he had been watching the sky, there being little else to view from his small window other than roof-tiles and guttering. The oil lamp beside his bed had been extinguished, and when I saw my father glance disapprovingly at the lamp I had brought to guide me up the rickety staircase, I quickly lowered the wick.

작은 창으로 보는 하늘. 달링턴 홀이 세상이 전부인 양 살았던 父子. 우물 안 개구리.

 

Having done this, I noticed all the more the effect of the pale light coming into the room and the way it lit up the edges of my father’s craggy, lined, still awesome features.  

 

65 “Very well. Since you wish me to be brief, I will do my best to comply. The fact is, Father has become increasingly infirm. So much so that even the duties of an under-butler are now beyond his capabilities. His lordship is of the view, as indeed I am myself, that while Father is allowed to continue with his present round of duties, he represents an ever-present threat to the smooth running of this house-hold, and in particular to next week’s important international gathering.

 

My father’s face, in the half-light, betrayed no emotion whatsoever.

‘감정을 드러내지 않음’, 그것이 버틀러의 미덕인 양.

 

66 There was still no trace of emotion discernible in his expression, and his hands on the back of the chair appeared perfectly relaxed. Hunched over or not, it was impossible not to be reminded of the sheer impact of his physical presence – the very same that had once reduced two drunken gentlemen to sobriety in the back of a car.

 

67 The shadows of the poplar trees had fallen across much of the lawn, but the sun was still lighting up the far corner where the grass sloped up to the summerhouse. My father could be seen standing by those four stone steps, deep in thought. A breeze was slightly disturbing his hair.

묘사가 디테일하다. 보이지 않고 드러나지 않는 감정을 상황을 통해 드러내는 것 같은.

 

In fact, I can describe his manner at that moment no better than the way Miss Kenton puts it in her letter; it was indeed ‘as though he hoped to find some precious jewel he had dropped there.’

 

But I see I am becoming preoccupied with these memories and this is perhaps a little foolish.

 

68 ‘Oh, I’m not in a hurry at all.’ I said with a smile. ‘For the first time in many a year, I’m able to take my time and I must say, it’s rather an enjoyable experience. I’m just motoring for the pleasure of it, you see.’

 

69 I must say, something about this small encounter had put me in very good spirits; the simple kindness I had been thanked for, and the simple kindness I had been offered in return, caused me somehow to feel exceedingly uplifted about the whole enterprise facing me over these coming days. It was in such a mood, then, that I proceeded here to Salisbury.

 

70 It was one of those events which at a crucial stage in one’s development arrive to challenge and stretch one to the limit of one’s ability and beyond, so that thereafter one has new standards by which to judge oneself. That conference was also memorable, of course, for other quite separate reasons, as I would like now to explain.

 

76 I was only too aware of the possibility that if any guest were to find his stay at Darlington Hall less than comfortable, this might repercussions of unimaginable largeness. Moreover, my planning for the event was complicated by the uncertainty as to the numbers involved.

 

78 It was almost as though some supernatural force possessed him, causing him to shed twenty years; his face lost much of the sunken look of recent times, and he went about his work with such youthful vigor that a stranger might have believed there were not one but several such figures pushing trolleys about the corridors of Darlington Hall.

 

79 I was about to continue on my way, but Miss Kenton did not move. Then she took one step more towards me so that a bar of light fell across her face and I could see the angry expression on it.

주인공과 달리 켄턴양은 ‘감정적’이다. 

 

‘Unfortunately, Mr. Stevens, I am extremely busy now and I am finding I have barely a single moment to spare. If only I had as much spare time as you evidently do, then I would happily reciprocate by wandering about this house reminding you of tasks you have perfectly well in hand.’

 

88 The following day brought several more guests and with two days yet to go to the start of the conference, Darlington Hall was filled with people of all nationalities, talking in rooms, or else standing around, apparently aimlessly, in the hall, in corridors and on landings, examining pictures or objects.

 

89 I could see, moreover, that if I were quickly to go outside and conceal my person behind the large rhododendron bush beside the path, it would not be long before Mr. Cardinal came by. I would then be able to emerge and convey my message to him. It was not, admittedly, the most subtle of strategies, but you will appreciate that this particular task, though no doubt important in its way, hardly took the highest priority at that moment.

 

90 ‘All living creatures will be relevant to our forthcoming discussion, sir. However, you must now please excuse me. I had no idea M. Dupont had arrived.’

 

93 As I recall, I had conveyed a plea to Miss Kenton for assistance – via a messenger, naturally – and had left M. Dupont sitting in the billiard room awaiting his nurse, when the first footman had come hurrying down the staircase in some distress to inform me that my father had been taken ill upstairs.

 

As I stood hesitating in the doorway, Miss Kenton appeared at my side and said: ‘Mr. Stevens, I have a little more time than you at the moment. I shall, if you wish, attend to your father. I shall show Dr. Meredith up and notify you if he has anything noteworthy to say.’

‘나쁜’ 사마리아인이 아니라 ‘바쁜’ 사마리아인이 문제라는 생각을 한 적이 있다. 아버지의 죽음을 앞두고도 주인공은 ‘바쁘다’는 말을 되풀이한다. 주인공보다는 감정적인 -그래서 인간적인- 켄턴양은 자신은 주인공보다야 시간이 있으니 주인공의 아버지 곁에 있겠다고 한다.

 

94 However, as fortune would have it, when I put my ear to M. Dupont’s door, I happened to hear Mr. Lewis’s voice, and though I cannot recall precisely the actual words I first heard, it was the tone of his voice that raised my suspicions. I was listening to the same genial, slow voice with which the American gentleman had charmed many since his arrival and yet it now contained something unmistakably convert. It was this realization, along with the fact that he was in M. Dupont’s room, presumably addressing this most crucial personage, that caused me to stop my hand from knocking, and continue to listen instead.

 

M. Dupont had been deliberately invited late to enable the others to discuss important topics in his absence;

 

96 The next day, the discussions in the drawing room appeared to reach a new level of intensity and by lunch time, the exchanges were becoming rather heated. My impression was that utterances were being directed accusingly, and with increasing boldness, towards the armchair where M. Dupont sat fingering his beard, saying little.

 

97 He went on looking at his hands for a moment. Then he said slowly: ‘I hope I’ve been a good father to you.’

 

‘I’m afraid we’re extremely busy now, but we can talk again in the morning.’

곧 죽음이 다가오는 것을 알고 너에게 좋은 아버지였길 바란다는 아버지한테 바쁘다, 아침에 이야기 하자는 아들이란. 대체 뭣이 중헌디?!라는 말이 나오는 대목이다.

 

아버님이 임종을 앞두고 있을 때 남편은 아버님께 여러 이야기를 쏟다시피 했었다. 다인실이었는데 그 때 누구였던가, 다른 환자들의 안정이 필요하다며 조용히 해달라고 했었다. 그 말도 맞는 말이긴 하지만, 여기 한 생명이 꺼져가고 있는데!

 

My father was still looking at his hands as though he were faintly irritated by them.

 

102 ‘As I say, I’m not going to waste my time on our French friend over there. But as it happens, I do have something to say. Now we’re all being so frank, I’ll be frank too. You gentlemen here, forgive me, but you are just a bunch of naïve dreamers.

 

And if you didn’t insist on meddling in large affairs that affect the globe, you would actually be charming. Let’s take our good host here. What is he? He is a gentleman. No one here, I trust, would care to disagree. A classic English gentleman. Decent, honest, well-meaning.

‘위대한 버틀러’에 이어 ‘젠틀맨’에 대해 나온다.

 

But his lordship here in an amateur. He paused at the word and looked around the table. ‘He is an amateur and international affairs today are no longer for gentleman amateurs. The sooner you here in Europe realize that the better. All you decent, well-meaning gentlemen, let me ask you, have you any idea what sort of place the world is becoming all around you? The days when you could act out of your noble instincts are over.

영화에서는 이 장면이 어떻게 연출되었을 지 궁금하다. 조만간 봐야지. 신사 아마추어라.

 

Except of course, you here in Europe don’t yet seem to know it. Gentleman like our good host still believe it’s their business to meddle in matters they don’t understand. So much hog-wash has been spoken here these past two days. Well-meaning, naïve hog-wash. You here in Europe need professionals to run your affairs. If you don’t realize that soon you’re headed for disaster. A toast, gentlemen. Let me make a toast. To professionalism.

 

103 Let me say this. What you describe as “amateurism”, sir, is what I think most of us here still prefer to call “honor”.’

위대한 집사와 품위, 신사와 명예. 자기만의 정의에 갇힌 사람이 범하는 우.

 

105 I proceeded to serve to some other of the guests. There was a loud burst of laughter behind me and I heard the Belgian clergyman exclaim: ‘That is really heretical! Positively heretical!’ then laugh loudly himself. I felt something touch my elbow and turned to find Lord Darlington.

 

‘Butler,’ he said, ‘I wonder if you would find me some fresh bandages. My feet are unbearable again.’

‘Yes, sir.’
아버지가 곧 돌아가시려고 하는데 저 사람 발 아픈 게 중요하냐.

 

106 ‘Mr. Stevens, I’m very sorry. Your father passed away about four minutes ago.’

 

‘Will you come up and see him?’

‘I’m very busy just now, Miss Kenton. In a little while perhaps.’

‘In that case, Mr. Stevens, will you permit me to close his eyes?’

‘Miss Kenton, please don’t think me unduly improper in not ascending to see my father in his deceased condition just at this moment. You see, I know my father would have wished me to carry on just now.’

고구마를 몇 개를 먹은 느낌이다. 답답해도 이렇게 답답할 수가. 아버지가 돌아가셨다는데도 ‘바쁘다’는 주인공. 아버지는 결국 눈도 감지 못하고 돌아가셨구만. 그 와중에 일말의 양심은 있는지 아버지도 내가 이렇게 처신하는 것을 바랄 것이라고 변명하는 주인공. 대체 뭐가 그리 바쁜데?

 

109 I had expected the room to smell of death, but on account of Mrs. Mortimer – or else her apron – the room was dominated by the smell of roasting.

 

‘Yes, sir. However, if I may, there is a most distinguished gentleman downstairs in need of your attention.’

‘Urgent?’

‘He expressed a keen desire to see you, sir.’

아버지가 위독해서 켄턴양이 의사를 부른 건데, 그 의사의 등장 앞에서도 다른 사람 발 아픈 거 봐주길 바라는 주인공. Urgent? 라고 묻는 의사의 표정이 상상된다.

 

110 Let me make clear that when I say the conference of 1923, and that night in particular, constituted a turning point in my professional development, I am speaking very much in terms of my own more humble standards. Even so, if you consider the pressures contingent on me that night, you may not think I delude myself unduly if I go so far as to suggest that I did perhaps display, in the face of everything, at least in some modest degree a ‘dignity’ worthy of someone like Mr. Marshall – or come to that, my father. Indeed, why should I deny it? For all its sad associations whenever I recall that evening today, I find I do so with a large sense of triumph.

 

DAY TWO. AFTERNOON/ Mortimer’s Pond, Dorset.

 

113 I have no wish, let me make clear, to retreat any of my ideas on ‘dignity’ and its crucial link with ‘greatness’.

 

114 what I meant is that we were ambitious, in a way that would have been unusual a generation before, to serve gentlemen who were, so to speak, furthering the progress of humanity.

 

I believe I can best highlight the difference between the generations by expressing myself figuratively. Butlers of my father’s generation, I would say, tended to see the world in terms of a ladder – the houses of royalty, dukes and the lords from the oldest families placed at the top, those of ‘new money’ lower down and so on, until one reached a point below which the hierarchy was determined simply by wealth – or the lack of it.

 

Any butler with ambition simply did his best to climb as high up this ladder as possible, and by and large, the higher he went, the greater was his professional prestige.

 

For our generation, I believe it is accurate to say, viewed the world not as a ladder, but more as a wheel. Perhaps I might explain this further.

 

To us, then, the world was a wheel, revolving with these great houses at the hub, their mighty decisions emanating out to all else, rich and poor, who revolved around them. It was the aspiration of all those of us with professional ambition to work our way as close to this hub as we were each of us capable.

그가 생각한 세상은 사다리 같은 세상이 아닌 바퀴 같은 세상이었다고.

 

116 I myself moved quite rapidly from employer to employer during my early career – being aware that these situations were incapable of bringing me lasting satisfaction – before being rewarded at last with the opportunity to serve Lord Darlington.

 

117 A ‘great’ butler can only be, surely, one who can point to his years of service and say that he has applied his talents to serving a great gentleman – and through the latter, to serving humanity.

위대한 집사는 세상이라는 바퀴의 축이 되는 젠틀맨에게 최선의 다하는 사람, 그것이 결국 인류에의 봉사라 생각한 것. 그런데 그 젠틀맨이 나치의 앞잡이라면? 문득 박근혜를 지지하는 어르신들과 오버랩 된다. 자신이 모신 주인의 과오를 인정할 수 없게 된다. 그러면 자신의 과거가 의미 없어지므로. 과거를 뉘우치고 후회한다는 것은 매우 힘든 일이지만 그것이 남아 있는 나날을 의미 있게 보내기 위해서 꼭 필요한 과정이라고 작가는 말하는 것 같다(아직 끝까지 읽은 건 아니지만).

 

119 ‘Darlington Hall,’ he said to himself. ‘Darlington Hall. Must be a really posh place, it rings a bell even to an idiot like yours truly. Darlington Hall. Hang on, you don’t mean Darlington Hall, Lord Darlington’s place?’

 

‘It was Lord Darlington’s residence until his death three years ago,’ I informed him. ‘The house is now the residence of Mr. John Farraday, an American gentleman.’

 

120 ‘Oh no, I am employed by Mr. John Farraday, the American gentleman who bought the house from the Darlington family.’

이제는 달링턴 경이 아닌 미국인 사업가 패러데이가 주인공의 주인이다.

 

124 ‘Indeed, Stevens. I’d told her you were the real thing. A real old English butler. That you’d been in this house for over thirty years, serving a real English lord. But Mrs. Wakefield contradicted me on this point. In fact, she contradicted me with great confidence.’

 

125 if I may put it this way, sir, it is a little akin to the custom as regards marriages. If a divorced lady were present in the company of her second husband, it is often thought desirable not to allude to the original marriage at all. There is a similar custom as regards our profession, sir.’

주인공은 합리화 대마왕이다. 나치 독일에 협조한 달링턴 경을 모셨다는 것이 스스로도 당당하지 못할 터. 그래서 前 주인에 대한 언급을 회피하는 것을, 이혼한 여성이 前 남편에 대해 특별히 언급하지 않는 것과 견준다.

 

But now, recalling it here in the calm that surrounds this pond, there seems little doubt that my conduct towards Mrs. Wakefield that day has an obvious relation to what has just taken place this afternoon.

 

126 In looking back over my career thus far, my chief satisfaction derives from what I achieved during those years, and I am today nothing but proud and grateful to have been given such a privilege.