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2003년 7월 25일 15시 55분 등록
나는 열심히 일하며 인생을 살아왔다. 그런데 어느날 부터 수입은 하나도 없어지고 아침부터 아내에게 퇴박이나 맞고 점심은 식당에서 우연히 만난사람에게서 본의 아니게 얻어먹고 그리고는 내딴에는 의미있게 일한다고 하는 일은 할일이없는 사람이나 하는 소일꺼리 정도로 사람들은 폄하한다. 비는 후줄근하게 내리고 나의 핸드폰은 하루종일 울리지도 않는다. 책방에라도 가면 제목만 요란한 책들이 즐비하다. 그래도 얼마나 다행이냐 제목이라도 요란한 책들이 많고,그래서 자극을 받기도하고 언제 울릴지 모르는 핸드폰이 살아있고 또 나에겐 퇴박을 주는 아내도있으니. 내가 이렇게 흔들리는 것은 그래도 살아있다는 것이 아니겠는가. 무상성과 영원성을 오가는 삶의 공허감, 그것은 진정 내안에서 내면의 힘이 소멸되어가고있기 때문일까.
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2011.04.06 18:01:42 *.43.5.67

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

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Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

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Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, and try not to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
Just for today I will have a program, I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
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Just for today I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

 

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